


Time And Again

by Cephy



Category: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-12
Updated: 2006-08-12
Packaged: 2017-10-06 22:58:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cephy/pseuds/Cephy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cloud's thoughts upon facing an old foe, once again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time And Again

Nothing really changes, does it? It seems we always come back around to this-- another brawl, another round of posing and threats and pushing for the upper hand. You're even still in uniform, as much as you ever were. If I don't look down at myself, if I don't pay too much attention to what sword I'm carrying-- I could almost believe we're right back at the start.

How many times do we have to go through this?

There was once a boy named Cloud. Too young, too willing to believe in legends. He pinned his dreams on a single shining image and shattered when that image tarnished.

There was once a man named Sephiroth. Too old for his age, unable to keep from being turned into a legend. He formed himself around a series of truths, and shattered when those truths proved false.

Or so I was told. For all that I remember, maybe neither of them ever really existed.

What I do know is that you always seem to be at the heart of it all, of every event of importance that's ever happend to me. You gave me that dream of SOLDIER, and you took it away and drowned it in fire and mako. It was your actions, ultimately, that led me to a dusty clifftop and a Buster sword. It was you, out there in the snow, who broke apart all the lies that held me together and left me adrift. You at the end of it all, making me choose once and for all what was important, whether I wanted to or not.

Even now, even _now_ when it should have been over-- here you are breaking things apart again, taking away what should have been my _own_, free of you, and replacing it with too many memories about the swing of the sword and the dark times when I didn't even know I was real. Making me find too many whispers at the corner of my mind, too many half-memories laughing at me from the darkness.

Too many parts of me still feeling like I should be _grateful _to you, no matter how close you came to ruining me.

Too much anger and confusion and leftover hero-worship that should definitely have been left to rot.

But sometimes it's possible to see-- just there. The shadow of another face beneath yours, just a hint of wide eyes and uncertainty. There was once a boy named Kadaj, after all. And he was real, while you are not. You are just a ghost, a shadow, a memory--

Just a memory. That's all you should be.

Fine, then. I'll kill you as many times as I have to. As many times as it takes.


End file.
